Code of Conduct: How to Survive a Vegas Weekend

Let’s start this with the same conversation you might have heard in your sixth grade sex education class. Hell, if your reading this, odds are good your maturity hasn’t changed much.

We’re all human beings. It’s perfectly natural. Don’t be embarrassed. We’ve all done it…

Passed out on the floor a few hours after landing in town, vodka bottle still in hand after being carried out of the bathroom by another dude? Taken a piss over the ledge of a loft drenching the entire downstairs in a fashion resembling an unstable fire-hose after one too many car bombs? Woken up on a park bench by a police officer while wearing nothing more than a woman’s thong that you allegedly bought yourself earlier the night before?

Hey, no one’s judging. It happens to the best of us.

What follows is advice collected through years of experienced debauchery. After all, it’s important to lead by example … of what not to do.

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Organizing a Protest

Much like a good pair of Ray Ban’s, protesting never loses its hip style. 

Modern societies way of publicly expressing a display of disapproval of events, policies, or circumstances.

If the news has taught us anything, it’s that people will find a reason to protest just about anything. Nothing makes people more upset than...  well, everything apparently. Clearly the best way to express your indignant outrage is in the most public fashion possible.

But gone are the days of soapboxes and megaphones being an effective means of communication. Like a good viral video, today’s protests require planning and organization. Here’s a step-by-step guide to how any aspiring luddite can achieve greatness.

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My Weekend With a Heroin Addict

Would you let a Heroin addict into your house? I'm not sure I would. Actually, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't.

A close friend of mine called me to ask for advice. An old friend of hers had been kicked out of rehab and needed a place to stay through the weekend. “I want to help, but I'm afraid. I don't know if I can be around that. What should I do,” she asked. 

After talking it through, we decided that if there was something she could do to help, she should. I volunteered to be around for support through the weekend. 

We’ll call our addict, Amy. This is her story. 

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Editoral

As part of your younger audience, as well as a regular reader, it's my obligation to defend my generation. 

You insinuate that we are immature and irresponsible for publicly embracing our human nature. 

Is this really so, or is it the companies, business owners and other individuals who condemn us for having fun and refuse to judge us based upon our performance and output while on the job that are socially irresponsible?

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Pillows & Pajamas Party

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Born from the ashes of holiday travel and over-stimulation, a secret society of outcasts has formed. This unique faction of men and women seek a memorable decade’s end, remote to the chaos of unending lines and exorbitant entry tax. 

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